Not that theres anything wrong with that...

I don't live too far away from DC. Very recently DC passed a bill that allows same sex marriage. In reading various forums and blogs I have noticed that this doesn't really sit well with a large part of the US population... even well outside of the DC borders. I can't say that everyone that disagrees with this bill (or any bill approving same sex behavior) draws their reasoning from their religion but I can surely say that the majority does. In fact, it is what most of them use to defend their opinion.

Though most of you that will read this already know my views on religion I won't go into it here. I am just going to lay down what I see to be as fact and let you decide for yourself.

James 2:10 (New International Version)
For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

That is from the New Testament of the Holy Bible. That means that Jesus has already come and made the ultimate sacrifice for the sins of the world and that thru him, we may all be saved and forgiven according to God's will. That does not change what the words say. You break one rule, no matter which one, you are just as guilty as if you had broken them all. Aside from whether or not this flows well with me, I can read and that seems to be what it says.

Numbers 15:32-36 (King James Version)
And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.

And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.

Now here is a guy... in the Old Testament of the Holy Bible... who was out collecting sticks for whatever reason and it just happened to be the sabbath. So God ordered him dead. Since it was the Old Testament I am sure we can all agree that the sacrifice of Jesus in the New Testament would allow for the forgiveness of working on the sabbath and related sparing of this mans life? I thought so. That is probably why so many people work on the sabbath here in the modern world.

Leviticus 18:22 (New International Version)
Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

This verse, also from the Old Testament, seems to be the ultimate line of defense for people who are against same sex marriage and/or rights. I failed to remember an example of someone getting stoned or killed by order of God as a result of homosexuality. Please, if you know of one, I would love to be refreshed (it's been a long time since I read most of this stuff). Again, this is from the Old Testament. Blood of Christ washes clean and forgiveness is granted, on with life.

So unless the Old Testament is strictly for history, we should still strive to obey the laws presented. If we do not observe the laws as a whole and disobey even one, we have disregarded the entire bunch of them. I don't think most Christians would disagree. The difference is the New Testament. Now, instead of being stoned a person has the option to ask God for forgiveness. "God, forgive me, I worked on the sabbath" or "God, forgive me, I slept with someone with the same parts as me". You can break the rules, be forgiven and continue to live life. I imagine that the sacrifice of God's only son came along with the idea that if you sin, and are forgiven, you will try really hard, really really hard, not to commit that sin again. Maybe that's just me.

Let me remind myself....
break the law, ask for forgiveness, try not to do it again.

I guess my point without all of the run around is this as follows

If you work on whichever day you observe as the sabbath you have sinned. If you sleep with someone of the same sex you have sinned. If you ask the Lord for forgiveness it will be granted. If you continue to do either after the first time you ask forgiveness.... personally I think you have shit all over the face of your creator. So now that all of you fundamentalist Christians out there have wiped shit in the face of your God, maybe you should worry a little more about getting Him a moist towelette than you are about two dudes who want to be happy and live a life all their own.

And to show how a rational and open mind can change... up until mere hours ago, I defaulted to saying "marriage is a practice with origins from the Holy Bible and therefore should only be allowed in the eyes of an approving God. anything else should be considered a civil union". When I did some comparing and research I changed my mind. Marriage is traceable back as far as 5000 years and the earliest recorded marriage was 2500 years ago. These occurrences did not have relationships to the church in question. So I basically learned that just because we celebrate Christmas as a Christian holiday now doesn't mean that it was spawned as a result of Christianity. Marriage, it's just a word. I was stupid to think that it belonged to anyone.

I am not gay. I also do not slight anyone for a belief in anything. I do however disrespect anyone who thinks that they have the right to alter the laws of their respective deity or to let the "freedom of religion" slip into a "freedom of religion as long as it's okay with me".

OS wars.

the very first thing i want to say is that if you have a computer, its a pc. pc means personal computer. it does not mean windows. stop saying mac or pc. say mac or windows or linux. pc is a blanket term which covers ALL OF THEM!!

second, this is not a fight between bill gates and steve jobs. if youre one of the retards that thinks each of them is the sole contributor to the company's each and every idea, wake up and quit replacing the S in microsoft with a dollar sign. last time i checked apple is the one who are the kings of mark up. i can buy two windows machines with the same specs as a mac for the same price as that one mac. the two dudes are the leaders of their company... you cant any more credit them for each of their products than you can credit Brian Roberts (comcast ceo) for creating broadband. and further.... bill gates is only a chairperson these days.

i am sick and tired of hearing how one is better for something than the other... to specify, mac is better for graphics and music.... why? they have the EXACT same hardware these days. photoshop is available on both, pro tools is available on both. office is available on both, so is itunes. shut up.

hey, shut up, macs do break. thats why they have a genius bar and thats why there is always a line and thats why they take appointments. i am on my 4th ipod cus they break like mofos. and you know what, so do windows machines... i dont say windows, i say windows machines because remember.... microsoft doesnt make the hardware. if your windows machine breaks, blame hp or dell or gateway or sony. if your software breaks... you can more than likely blame you... just like in mac world.

lastly.... just get over the argument. somethings are good for some people, other are good for others. i have 3 windows machines. i have an ipod and an airport express. use what works for you. shut up about how one is better than the other.

simple things to make life better

i went to the grocery store tonight. i got mad about so many things. it is so easy to make the lives of stangers so much better in so many simple ways. oddly, i feel like even most good people overlook simple ways to help out others simply because its so easily excused. here are some things that i saw that made me sad....

pedestrians should ALWAYS have the right of way. there is no good reason that any shopping center should have to have stop signs in front of the building. none at all. even if you (in your car) have to wait for like 5 minutes straight for some people to walk in front of you, that should be no problem. after all, youre sitting, in a climate controlled car. there is a good chance that its cold, or hot, and they are outside with things to carry or push. calm down. let them thru. i cant even tell you how many cars tonight passed right in front of people who were waiting on sidewalks. put yourself in their place, look and them and imagine you very cold and wanting to get to you car.

push the carts back. seriously, chances are that you are going to use a shopping cart. so instead of going all the way inside and getting one... grab one from the lot. even if its from the cart return. just grab it and push it in. the little cart pusher boy will be happy about it later... even if he doesnt know about it. and honestly, if everyone grabbed a cart from the lot on the way in, cart boy could maybe be bagger boy instead and not have to work outside.

park further away and certainly not in the handicapped spot. i saw two cars tonight in the handicapped spots that didnt have tags or plates allowing them to do it. if youre in good health then there should be no problem parking a little further away. let the elders and preggers and people with lots of kids part a little closer. leave a few spots empty before parking.... i mean really, walking is good for you. why do you think treadmills are so popular?

if a person gets in line behind you and has one item and you have 20, let them get in front of you. it will slow you down by one minute where you will be slowing them down by 5. line placement is all chance. there is no reason anyone deserves to be where they are in line. so just bite the bullet and make someone feel good for once.

say things. i cant begin to tell you how much better you can make someones day just by cracking a joke or making a compliment to a person behind a counter. just say anything. this one is the easiest. it doesnt put you out at all. just be friendly. can you imagine how many people go in and out of stores each day and just act like the clerk isnt even there. handing money back and forth and not saying a word. seriously, say something... anything.

for the most part, our lives arent hard. you never know what kind of day someone else is having, or for that matter, what kind of life they are having. if each and everyone of us took tiny steps to make every persons life a little better... even if they dont know it.... we would all smile a little more. i think that would be nice.

mission statement

so yeah, recently i watched jerry maguire again. a movie that starts off with a narrative. a mission statement that changed a mans whole life. he wanted to make his industry better. change the heart of it.

rock and roll is cool. working in production is awesome. but sometimes you come across professional practices that seem far less than professional. it bothers me. i strive to be so very professional and work so very hard but i find that so often i have to deal with attitudes and behaviors that are so much less than they should be.... in the workplace.

i want to write a mission statement like jerry... for rock and roll.

maybe when im not drinking.

rise and shine

so friday evening i took a shower, got dressed and headed out.... for the last time until today. as most everyone knows, virginia got pounded with snow late friday night and all day saturday. one foot of the crap. i had an excuse! i have been sitting inside ignoring hygene for 5 whole days. when i woke up this morning i could almost hear the sheets begging for me to bathe.

today is the day. i will shower, i will dress myself proper and i will go out in to the world. maybe.

redirect

right off the bat, i say things i shouldnt. i have no filter at all. i say what is on my mind and generally dont sugar coat it. bad bad bad move on so many levels in so many scenarios. as a result i generally have to deal with a primer period in all relationships in my life. pretty much everyone is insulted by or offended by or just taken off guard by me in the first few encounters. ive learned if they hang around long enough to get thru all of that initial shock, they like me and more often than not, end up appreciating being around a person who is honest. brutally at times.

i talk a lot. you dont even really have to get me going. i am self powered and provoked. that is not something that works with the issues from paragraph one very well. i grew up in a house with quite a few other very loud people. all very talkative. you know who you are and if you disagree, youre in denial. also, in my adult life i have learned that i value time alone. sometimes days at a time. you might be bumping into me after 4 solid days of hiding out in my room. you better bet your ass i will be ready to exercise my larynx.

ok, two facts about me have been revealed. put together... i am going to say what i think and i am going to do it often. another fact.... i am ultra opinionated and passionate about the things i like and dislike. i am a superlative. you may or may not be thinking "he sure is taking a long time to just admit he is an asshole" but thats totally what i am thinking.

im an asshole sometimes.

this blog started out wanting to go in a totally different direction. it got so far off topic after about the 3rd word that I am embarrassed to admit what it was going to be about. i guess my brain just wanted me to admit that i am kind of a selfish asshole sometimes. so there you have it. no big deal. im good. have a nice day.

music

7 years old. i went to my aunts. she had found a caselogic box of cassettes on the side of the road. she let me take whatever i wanted from it. that day pretty much changed my life. i remember it perfectly. 22 years have passed and i still remember pulling that iron maiden tape out. it had the coolest cover art i have ever seen. i think in the back of my head i knew that my sisters liked them, but 99% of me bets on the cover art. we also made gingerbread men that day. i made a penis on one. i think my aunt has pictures of that.

i was about 11. my dad got a cd player from the 7-up rep (cus he worked as a manager of a grocery story) for x-mas. my sister got nothings shocking by janes addiction on cd. she also got some crap called dread zeppelin. i remember janes addiction. that was all that happened in our house as far as discs go for a while. i figured that since there was a player there, and since my idol, damon, loved slayer, i should buy a slayer cd. i did, and the cd player became mine. i had two cds. slayer and janes addiction. life changes again.

i did what i could to save money and i asked for music on holidays. i grew my collection. i was pretty much only concerned with music. tool. holy shit do i rememer tool. i was just about 14 and sober was all over mtv. i walked from barbara collius' apartment all the way to bob a lous and bought the living shit out of tools cd undertow. life changed again. not only did i find a new, and still only, favourite band... i found a place to start my life working for music.

15 years old. i started applying for jobs. i mean, thats what real people do. they work when they can. i got a work permit from school and started looking for a way to make money. i went to source of my drug. bob a lous. i know i mentioned them with tool in 94ish, but i had been going to bob a lous for music since iron maiden put out no prayer.... like 91. i hung out there and bothered the living crap out of everyone that worked there non stop. i just needed to be around music and they were the best way. i was there for the midnight release of pearl jams vs. which came out the same day as sepulturas chaos a.d. and i bought them both. mom was mad cus i only asked permission for one and used her checks. seems as if she didnt have enough for the second disc and i cost her quite a bit more than she bargained for. enough with that... i applied there and sure as crap, they hired me. by the way dad, youre gonna wanna kill me for this..... before i worked there, i took 35 bucks worth of kennedy half dollars and rode my bike all the way there and bought the bee gees greatest hits double disc. i dont even have it anymore, but i wish i did.

i spent almost two years selling music to people. almost pushing it on them really. if i dude walked in looking like he even remotely liked heavy metal... he walked out with a disc by an artist he had never heard of. iced earth, nevermore, all bands that damon gave to me. (iced earth, i was helping set up my sisters xmas tree and damon had dantes inferno so loud that it blew a fuse in his speakers) i loved that job. i spent every cent i made buying music right back from the register i worked on everyday. it crushed me when they closed. i worked there til the very last day. to be honest with you, i randomly have dreams about that store re-opening to this day.

after that i was lost. i found some employment with my good friend tray at a dog kennel. it was horrible. im sure its why i cant stand animals. at the first chance, i got out. dogs were not for me. i had a love affair with music and i needed to chase it.

luke smith. god bless his soul. every day of my life i owe to him. i am a happy person, i feel accomplished and satisfied because of the things he did for my life. i met him at church. i remember the day i met him and how it went. i remember the conversation we had and i remember the outcome. i remember the first time he called me for something bigger and better than church. i remember the second time. the third time was another one of those life changers.

third eye blind was doing two dates in VA and for some reason it was in their tour managers plans to have the same local crew on both shows. a tour bus was reserved and a crew was assembled. out of richmond. i guess they were hard up for work. luke referred me for the job and i was called. i was 17. i hopped on a bus and took one gigantic step into the rest of my life. i lifted gear on two shows. i got gig balls for the first time, and so bad i was scared i wouldnt be able to work the second day. people talked about gear and life in ways i had no idea existed. i was a changed man with a new passion for a life in music on a different level. bob lipford was there too. man, some people just change everything and youll never ever be able to pay them back. bob, luke, i love you guys so much. i owe you my life.

i had sold music, now i was going to watch it be made.

i slipped into a trance and decided that i was not going to do anything unless it had to do with luke and his "in". it took about three more months for the next call. new years eve on 1998 into 99. he just needed someone to set up a drum kit for a disco cover band called grovespot. man... as a drummer, i was all over that. that was the night i met loring wiggins. another life changing moment. that night was the beginning of an almost 9 year professional relationship.

loring owns a sound company called omnitech. together we did club shows, frat parties, commercial installs, corporate events, sporting events, just about anything that had to do with making music louder. i learned almost everything i know from loring. from technical to ethical. the dude took me to get my drivers licence for christ sake. nothing would be what it is with out him. every bit of where i am is his to brag about. loring was the catalyst.

thru loring i met steve, thru steve i met paul, thru paul i met pat. paul.... so much more than they road to pat... well get back to him. pat. paul offered the chance to go on the road. said he would refer me. i got this call from his boss. pat mcgee. he called and i remember where i was in this world when i got that call. if they ever rip that part of the world in pieces i bet i could still find it. i took 18 days on the road with pat. 18 shows in a row. life changer. fully addicted.

over the years i spent my time back and forth between pat mcgee band and omnitech. then i fell into one tour that just took it all and changed everything. pat called me and asked for my help on a tour opening for hanson. sure as shit i took it, i loved touring. i met another important person on that one. rebecca, hansons tour manager.

not too long after that tour, maybe a year... rebecca called offering the opportunity to work for hanson. i took it, duh. unfortunately that ended the professional relationship with loring. hey dude, im sure you understand.

now here i am. almost three years in with hanson. that has lended me the chance to worth with an enormous amount of wonderful people. a list that i cant even start. stephan, steve, dave, matt, scott (yorn), zak, max, mario, dimitrius, will, paul (paul, i love you so much man, will never be able to to let you know how much) jordan, bob, luke, machine, tim, bex, lawson, ryan, binky, boots, kit, techno, chardy (creator of muff), buford, erin, evan, harris, jason, jeremy, jesse, jesse, jude, j mo, jessica, josh, j-dub, mango, ghegan, scott (steel train), sleeves, terry, chicken feed, and everyone else that has made it all so wonderful.

music has made my life since 1987. its made my bank account since 1995. i will never be able to explain to anyone how important this has all been to me. 11,000 songs later, from slayer to the indigo girls, from james taylor to tool, seal to the haunted... i couldnt live a day without hearing a note. thanks to everyone who has made it possible and made it better.

support, dont steal.

think global, act local.

i saw that today. in print. thats great for changing the world, but not for all things.

as a world, we changed decades last night. that is, if you mark a decade by the changing of every set of years divisible by ten. there may be some weirdos out there who mark the change some other way. i think on a global scale we can all pretty much agree to the whole ten thing.

then i thought about my local decade. me. i dont change decades for another 6 months and 1 day. i will start my 4th. on june 3rd, i will be thirty. so while everyone is reflecting on the past decade... i still have some time to add to the glory of mine... i hope glory. maybe i have been fooling myself for 9 years and this has all been pretty miserable. they feel pretty glorious. i have had a stellar ride so far. i have lived and seen so many things that most people i know will never have a chance to experience. i was paid to do almost all of them. i have met some amazing people in the process. some of them got paid with me. some of them ive known since the earliest decades.

29 years old, 47 states, 2 continents, 4 homes, 31000 gamer points, 12 years making a living watching bands and playing with speakers.

what i have learned so far....
i love video games more now than i ever did as a child.
effort and attitude can overcome skill.
nothing happens on its own.
hops, yeast, water, and malt are the best mixer.
you cant keep a tour bus fresh.
its all about love.
there is no substitute for home.

that list could go on forever i suppose. i am sure i learn something everyday. it may change my life, it may keep me from bumping my head on the same ledge day in and day out. my point is this... its been pretty good so far. ive done a lot of stupid shit that kinda effed up the path. i mean even now, my life is out of whack and i am pretty much starting from scratch on a materialistic level. but the outlook is positive and the love is all around. i can only hope that i learn and do as much in my next local decade as i have in this one.... so far.

on that note, enjoy the global turnover. welcome to the.... teens?

get out the power strip

plug in the playstation portable, the netbook, the camera, the flashlight, the cellphone... im leaving town again.

i am going on a very very brief trip up to DC with Soundworks to help put on a Pat McGee shindig for new years. (wow, shindig is a word and didnt get a red underline) i will need lots of portable, recharging devices to help me along the way. i will also have to do laundry. i love it. not laundry, going and doing work.

i havent done anything at all since dec 12 when i got home from the most recent pete gig. now i have a couple of things lined up. its nice to know that some work is coming in but man is it hard to get off the xbox. ive already got enough work to pay bills for a month of living out on my own instead mooching off the folks. (mooching is a word in blogger dictionary too) its nice to be in a city where i get calls instead of making them.

enough said. back to doing nothing.

an atheists christmas

on a day like today everyone wants to be sentimental. we all want to be profound about love and family and the wonders of the holiday spirit.... so, I'm part of all.

if you don't know it by now, i don't believe in anything supernatural. i am not Buddhist, Mormon, christian, satanic, Muslim, or a practicing Scientologist. i am an atheist. a lot of people seem to think that i should have conflict with the holiday season. that's just silly. pretty much as dumb as saying that a christian should have a problem with it. actually, even more dumb since the history of the holiday has nothing to do with Christianity at all. please read the following...

The History Channels guide to the origins of Christmas.

OK, now that all of that is over with i can just say, hey... I'm 29 years old and some things happened in my life this year that really kinda screwed up the balance of me. i am living out of a suitcase in the guest room at my parents house. its 2 hours in to Christmas and the only thing stirring is me. i sneak down the steps periodically for something to drink and i am watching nature programs on Netflix. I didn't ask for one thing for christmas because i don't have anywhere to put anything. i am just not sure of anything at all right now and i have stopped holding my breath for things to slide into place.

i will fall asleep. i wont sleep long. too many loud voices and excited hearts will tear me out of slumber. its fine. i will wake up and sit at the top of the steps in the most certain of all Hargrave traditions. i will wait for my parents to oooooh and aaaaah over the spread of wrapped gifts. there will be a picture taken. we will all make our way down the steps and begin opening not just gifts, but financial sacrifices we have made to one another. in a family like mine, sometimes its not easy to give. but we love each other and find a way.

thats christmas. who cares if the word christ is in the title. its only there cus the catholics hi-jacked it from the pagans. and who cares what the pagans were celebrating. i care about one thing. i care that tomorrow morning i will feel at home. i will feel in place and i will not be thinking about how mutated my sense of normality is right now. i care that i will be where i should be, with my family. that is going to be the best gift i get.