National Coming Out Day

So the other day was National Coming Out Day. That was a day that I never even knew existed until I heard from a pal of mine. Yup, you guessed it. He took the time sensitive opportunity to inform me that he is gay. I already feel so much closer to him. It's pretty awesome to know that he is comfortable enough around me to know that I wouldn't judge him for just being who he is. I feel pretty special. I know coming out isn't supposed to be about me. It is about him. Regardless of who it is about, it is fucking stupid. National Coming Out Day sucks.

The answer to when someone says they are gay should be "big whoop. who doesn't like sex?". It is a shame that a person has to live in such fear of persecution that they live in a theoretical "closet". There really shouldn't be a day set aside to help or celebrate a person coming out because there shouldn't have to be a coming out. The world that we live in needs to get over themselves pretty quickly in regards to the gay and lesbian community. There should be no reason that any person should ever need to hide their love or lust for anyone. Furthermore, there should be no reason that anyone should ever have to be worried about what they do with another consenting adult behind closed doors. What does it matter to anyone if someone wants to sleep with a woman or a man? Nothing at all. So why does it show up in our legal system and our stereotypes. Why is there a stigma at all?

I specifically get angry about it in the legal system. Gay marriage. WHY THE FUCK DOES ANYONE CARE WHO SOMEONE MARRIES?!?!?! If you aren't included in the arrangement then you should have no say in it at all. Why can't we just be excited that two people found love and want to celebrate it? My favorite is when the religious world starts to argue that marriage is to be between a man and woman because that is the way that god intended it. Well, smart asses, marriage is nothing like it was in biblical times. Those were never about love. They were about family or livestock. So yeah, if you want to have marriage just like it was when your precious little god came up with it, go ahead. Just don't come complaining to me about it when your dad picks a mate for you based on if his best golf buddy has a kid. There should be equal rights for all people. No exceptions.

Gays, Lesbians, you're alright with me. Unless you suck as a person... in which case, I don't like you, but it's not because of how you spend your naked time. Take comfort in knowing that anyone that has a problem with you has one because they are ignorant. Honestly, this day in age, if someone has a problem with you, they probably talk to an imaginary friend and think that some carpenter zombie levitated into the sky and built a castle on a cloud, just for them. They are really the ones with something wrong.

There should be no National Coming Out Day. There should be a National Pick on Closed Minded Assholes Day. On that day, we should get to throw eggs on and taunt every single person that has ever slowed down the advancement of civilization by making others feel like shit for no reason. My buddy should have never had to worry or wait to tell me about something in his life. He isn't my gay friend now, he is still just my friend. Fuck anyone who wants me to think otherwise.

Family Tree

In crisp clear memories, I can perfectly remember what life was like as a child. As sparked by a Picasa album my oldest sister sent to me today, I remember the beach. Whether it be the ocean or the river, I remember being a child on the sand with my family. It comes as no challenge to place each and every one of my family members there with me. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and siblings. That same family was always there for holidays and birthdays and births and deaths. All of it held together by the patriarch and his wife. My grandparents. For most of my entire life, that was the structure. All of us were there, in varied ways, as a result of their coming together. I grew up enjoying my childhood and growing with my family under the blessing and experienced watch of my grandparents.

The pictures my sister sent were of her's and my other sisters children playing on the beach. The very same beach that I remember. Nags Head, NC. All of my family is there now. Parents, sisters, brother in laws, nieces, nephew. I am not. I am in New Haven, CT working. My grandparents are not there. My aunts and uncles and cousins are not there. Something is a little different. The pictures in front of me reflect a whole new family when compared to the pictures in my mind.

As I flipped through the 100+ pictures that she sent I started to ask myself "When did the shift take place?". At what point did my immediate family become so large and when did my extended family get enough of their own that we all drifted far enough apart to take the crown of the king and move it down a generation? I suppose the obvious answer is the day that my grandfather died. That doesn't seem to be the day though. There were many years after his passing that we still conformed to the idea of family that I created as a child. We passed his duties on to my grandmother... and she is still alive and well. So when did it happen?

It isn't some great revelation or even a question that needs to be answered. It something that happens all of the time to every family on the planet. I guess I just thought things would always be the way they were. I never grew up. I never had kids and helped the family get bigger and move along down the generations. Maybe I just figured everyone else was doing the same thing... you know, despite watching them not do the same thing. I always envisioned the family one way but I am okay with it evolving. The roots of the tree have gone deeper into the dirt and the branches are climbing closer to the sun. I just hope that while they are flailing around in the wind that they look down and respect the trunk for being as strong as it is.

I love you MeMa. I miss you Kong-Kong and Nannie. I'm proud of you Mom and Dad. Good Luck.